The Jagged Edges of Friendship

Everyone is touched by friendship.  It is a keen observer in our lives.  We can't really do without it well, but it sometimes seems more trouble than it's worth.  The problems in friendships could be people because friendships with animals seem so much more satisfactory.  However, when you get right down to it, 'satisfactory' is not a box beside our name that we would like to have checked.  We would rather risk the lows to experience the highs, because without one or the other, all we are left with is 'satisfactory'.

So, we weigh the worth of our experiences and needs against our future expectations.  After disappointments, betrayals, and lies...we try to forgive and trust again.  We try to accept people for who they are and we quit trying to shame them or shape-change them into a certain mind mold. 

We may try to evaluate the sum and total of our coexistance in each others lives to determine if the friendship is beneficial in any way, or salvageable.

However, I do believe when we do this, we must also check the balance of the scales in our greatest friendship.  Who am I to judge someone else?  Have I disappointed my Lord and Savior who actually gave up His life for me?  Does He want me to have friendships based on how I can benefit from them and what they add ot my life...or, does He want me to be the light-bearer in friendships and BE Jesus to others?  Does He not continually forgive me when I do or say something boneheaded?  Does He not show me mercy?

Lord, teach me to be a better friend, that people will see You in me!

Encouraged

I just spent a 3-1/2 hour lunch with two of my best friends who, though they may not know it, are a powerful force in my life.

The time flies when we are together. We pray and eat and talk, talk, talk! We talk about how good the Lord is. We give testimony and witness to each other. Sometimes we need to vent a little, but there is always one in the group who can help us re-focus and turn that "mourning" into dancing.

We lift up the Lord and each other, in the process! Even a small compliment is a big thing from these women, because I R-E-S=E-C-T them so much. I learn from them and when I leave their company, I am ready to do battle in the world, again...refortified in God's word through my good friends, my sisters in Christ.

Sometimes I wonder why I am tolerated among these godly women. I am always in awe that someone wants to spend time with me or even cares to get to know me better. Today they told me: I make them laugh! Well, that is certainly a "special" niche, isn't it? It's not my wisdom? No wise counsel here! It's not my biblical knowledge radiating all over the place? (Don't ask.) No, I make them laugh... and that is something.

I'll take it. Thank you, ladies! I guess just being myself is fine with my good friends and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Staying Power

Remember how new love felt when you were young? It was tingly, almost magic. There was nothing else like it. It was physical, in your stomach and in your heart. This feeling was like the Holy Grail, something to strive for, something worth seeking. (At least, that's what I thought at the time.)

Now I am older, and happily married, but I still get this feeling. It's from new friendships...well, maybe that is also new love. How exciting it is to meet another woman with similar interests who appears to like me and SAYS it!

I don't mean she has to say "I like you", which is nice, she can also say this in other ways. I recently had a new friend tell me she liked me by saying "Stay" when I was starting to go. That spoke volumes to me!

It was a church event that my husband did not participate in and I planned to go home with him instead of the cast party afterwards. In fact, I was feeling a little 'disconnected' without him, as we are usually in service together, so I wasn't really 'up' for a party. She said "Stay, please stay. It will be fun. Stay." My husband also encouraged me, so I reluctantly stayed. I am so glad I did!

I was able to visit more with her and other friends, the food was great, and I got to sign a gift for our Choir Director, who thanked me for coming. That, in itself, amazed me. I really didn't think it would matter to anyone that I was there, but it did...and it mattered to me.

I read a quote from a magazine afterwards, that perfectly expresses how wonderful friends can be: "'Stay' is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary." by Louisa May Alcott. I will never forget the salve the word "stay" gave me that day. God bless my friends for being there---even when I don't know I need them to be!