Unbeautiful

I have been amazed, these last few weeks on vacation, of the continual beauty in my life and the world I live.  It never ceases.  I can find beauty everywhere, easily.  It is seen, felt, tasted, heard, smelled.  It is life itself and it is all a bounteous gift from God.

As we drive along the highways and gravel roads:  trees, sky, clouds, storms, billboards, animals, vehicles, houses, yards, gardens, fields, shopping centers, gas stations, restaurants, ditches, bushes, flowers, fences...they stretch like ribbons or they pop up here and there; they cause me to laugh or cause me concern; they entertain me and intrigue me; they give me ideas I somehow can't put to paper; they work my imagination.  They are beautiful.

As we attend weddings:  laughing brides with smiling husbands, photo opportunities, children dashing about, celebration foods and drinks, smiling hellos to friends and relatives we have missed then tearful goodbyes, gowns and party dresses, ties and vests, cakes, flowers, hugs and kisses, receiving lines and guest books,  brightly ribboned gifts and thoughtful cards,  music and musicians, wrinkled faces and fresh baby skin, oooh's and ahhhh's...they are life-giving, enriching, dramatic, and so beautiful.

As we relax on the lake:  endless blue sky reflected on water, rice and weed beds, the chug of the motor, the ripples the pontoon makes on the water, the sun so life-giving and bright, the slight whip and whirr of my line as I cast, the leech and minnows that dance (for a time) on my hook, the thrill of reeling in a northern, a sunfish, a bass, a baby walleye (all good little fighters), my dog's excitement as she tries to kiss and bite my catch, Belle's bark as she impatiently waits for me to get my line back in the water...it's a beautiful respite, a time to be alone with God and His creation even while I am with my husband and dog.

As we relax at the lake:  the RV sitting in it's same spot for the last 6 years or so, the deck with it's "Beware of Dog" sign that doesn't really matter, the flowered flag waving (a different one this year), the decked out deck with furniture and shade umbrella, then the first step inside...and we are home, the recliner that fits my body perfectly, the perfect sized table, cooking on that little stove, trying to get groceries into that little fridge, washing dishes in my "playhouse" sink, the fun corner shower I bump my elbows on at times, the familiar towels, the resort bathhouse, the resort lodge...it is all calming to the soul and beautiful to me.

Again, I can use all my 5 senses for this beauty in God's world, for these beautiful experiences He affords me.

My family and friends are beautiful.  I find something beautiful about each of them with my eyes and my ears.  Some beauty I find deep within them by trial and error, by knowing them, by intuition.  Some share their beautiful thoughts, ideas, life.  Some invite me in.  For some, my life is intertwined with theirs in different, wondrous ways.

But, at the end of these two weeks, I, myself, feel very unbeautiful.  I feel I have been drinking from a deep well and taking it all in but giving nothing of beauty back to the world, back to God.  Sometimes I think it would be easier if I were beautiful on the outside, and wish I were...however, I have come to terms with how God made me and I know I do have beauty within, or had it.  I feel like I need to find part of myself again, so I have more to give.  Whatever happens or doesn't to the outside of me...I am going to get back to work on the inside of me, with God's help...so I can truly be a beautiful gift to Him and to the world. 

Where's My Routine?

We are back in Georgia from a summer up north!

This is bittersweet, as I had to say a temporary goodbye to my side of the family...but then, a hello again to Jim's side of the family!

We spent a great July traveling to Washington, spending 10 fun-filled days with the Bailey Bunch, and traveling back Shell lake, MN. I can see myself living in Washington, or closer than we are now, being able to be a part of the lives of my daughter, Robin, her husband, Ted, and our grand-children: Natalie, Will, and Lydia. But, I truly can see us living anywhere we have family, be it Moorhead, MN, Alexandria, VA, Lexington, KY or right here in Georgia. I can't be in five places all of the time but I can be in five places some of the time.

I have learned that it's hard to and I can no longer make promises. The best I can do is say...., God willing! Last winter, we'd planned to be in Washington around Christmas, and ended up in Isanti, MN. This August, we'd planned to attend Robin's triathalon in Seattle, WA but Tracy gave birth to Briggs!!! YAY!!! And Aunt Robin even ditched her tri to be with Tracy! I had also said yes to watching Robin's kids while she and her husband go on a 10 day missions trip to Cambodia in January...but that, too, is on hold as Briggs may have heart surgery around that time and Tracy may need me too. The Lord knows I want to BE THERE for my kids when they need me...so, I don't understand, but I will pray. And I will go where I can, according to God's timing.

Briggs was born a very special baby in many ways. He was so loved and prayed over before he was born and then the news came, a few hours later that he was a Down's baby. That took nothing away from who he is or the joy over his birth...it just added an element of concern about something we didn't know or understand. Then a little later, the same day, that he had a significant hole in his heart and would need an operation within 6 months, probably. Here, the concern deepened. Surgery is scary even when you are grown. Briggs Benjamin is such a sweet child and so loved. He has an attentive, gentle big brother who will be his teacher and protector and wonderful parents who would move the earth for him. God is so good and I believe He will see us all through any crisis we imagine. Our God can do anything! I kept telling Briggs to memorize my face so he knows me next time!

I thank Him that we had time to spend with Tracy, Jeremy, Owen and Briggs before Sarah Mae's baby, Temperance Grace Parham was born. Tempie is just a doll! She has a beautiful skin tone and nice ricebud lips that I think Sarah Mae called juicy. Tempie has the longest fingers I have ever seen on a baby and I am sure this means something for her future vocation or hobby. She seems quite calm in a home with 2 inquisitive dogs who also vie for attention. She appears to have a laid back disposition, which speaks of her Mom and Dad. Their cozy little home now seems complete. Sarah's Mom, Carrie, is staying with them for 2 weeks to help out. Bert's mom, Lynn, is on her way. We only stayed a day but will go back when others have cleared out for a bit, although I know Hiway 75 will be torn up all the way to Lexington with 3 sets of granparents traveling back and forth.

We had time to spend with Rachel in Alexandria, VA before going to Lexington and I have to say that I felt like I had gone back in time to the time I had my first apartment and was on my own in a place where I knew no one, Glen Burnie, MD...almost 10 years ago. As I walked into her apartment, I smelled my own and wondered if all apartment owners use the same brand paint, carpet, and cleaners. Rachel has a knack for "decorating on a dime" and the place looked like a million bucks, to me! She loves her job at Nordstroms and is a successful salesperson. She has met and sold to several popular people, such as American Idol David Cook, Senator Gephart, Atlanta Braves baseball players, Manager Joe Torres, and others I cannot recall. She is bubbly and happy and filled with joy as she begins her new life and we are so proud of her!

Yesterday, James and Jamie stopped by for an early supper of Minnesota-caught fish and a new ice cream dessert I tried. They were on their way back from a Bulldogs game and it was so nice to see them in their matching Pamama City, Florida T-shirts. Jamie said they have got to start checking when they pack for a trip, but it was so cute! We had such a nice visit but they did have more driving yet to get home and get ready for the work week, as they are both teachers. I think they are up to 7 dogs and 2 cats and has ready-family members nearby to help watch them so they can travel occasionally. Lexington and Tempie will be their destination for fall break, which is the same time Rachel will be going. Something tells me that Bert and Sarah Mae will not have many 'alone' weekends.

So now, we have got most of our cleaning done, most of our laundry done, and are trying to settle into our old routines. Normally, we would be on the lake and fishing before or right after breakfast, break for a late breakfast or lunch, go out and fish some more...or take a nap first. Make supper then go out again, or the other way around. Now we are floundering...ok, pun intended. What WAS our old routine? We are slowly finding our way, as Jim looks for work and I attempt starting a new volunteer job at church with a new pastor (new to me). After Briggs has his surgery and recovery, I will also be looking for work. And in this process, we seek His face and His blessing, and His plans for our day, every day.