Sound of my Soul

So true funny how it seems


always in time, but never in line for dreams.

Head over heels when toe to toe.

This is the sound of my soul,

this is the sound



I bought a ticket to the world,

but now I've come back again

Why do I find it hard to write the next line?

Oh I want the truth to be said



Huh huh huh hu-uh huh

I know this much is true

Huh huh huh hu-uh huh

I know this much is true



This song came on the radio while I was feasting on the visual delight of Autumn in the Blue Ridge Mountains and surrounding hills.  I thought...THIS is the sound of MY soul.  When I see the creation in this season, I feel so close to God.  My soul sings a song made up for me in this moment...as I enter this holy cathedral of Fall. 
 
We are riding down the highway with trees crowding us on each side.  They stand as a welcoming committee, trying to all shake hands at once, making me feel very rich and very wanted.  It's God's private showing for me!  Within the car, there was a hush, a peace of two people lost in their own thoughts but, united in the thoughts of the beauty around us.  Our silence was our homage, as the wonder of creation cancelled  any need to talk or even think about anything other than gratitude and a desire to be forgiven the days transgressions and be unblemished in His presence.
 
All of a sudden, we are surrounded by big pine trees, green, green, green...where did Fall go?  It was so abrupt, like crossing from the north to the south.  Fall there, summer here...except we were traveling north!  After several miles, stood a beacon in  crinsom burgundy, among the pines.  Ah!  Soon, the pines grew taller with bare trunks, green-tipped like paintbrushes.  Then we began to see colorful ladies peeking through the trunks, begging to play!
 
Shadows start to lengthen and the sun spotlights a stand of trees in encore...one last time before the dusk.  The moon appears as a cloud, but gives itself away with it's nearly perfect shape...the sky and trees consprie to trickery one last time before sunset.  What a fun day of driving to Virginia!

Have iron....Will serve

 I love volunteering, and, like many of you, my church is the main recipient of my service.  I never know what my task will be, but I always enjoy helping out, as long as it's in the background.  This week is our church's Mission Conference, themed this year as "LOL love out loud - Let the whole world hear".  We plan to bless 4 families in the mission field and learn about them and the difference they are making for Christ in the world.  Since I am volunteering for the Missions pastor, this could be a busy and exciting week.

   So what did I end up doing today, you may be wondering...I ironed flags.  A need was identified...to locate the remainer of the flags in an upper storage area we affectionately call, 'The Heavens II'.  Of course, the next need was ironing out some of the wrinkles...the ones that would come out, anyway.  I ran home for my iron and iroing board.  Last year I had notified ladies from The Amazing Gray's to help iron and we were done before some even had a chance to set up.  Too late to try for help now, but I knew I could do it alone, anyway.

   My mind wandered as I ironed flags in the morning.  I had concerns about wrinkles I couldn't get out, spots on some flags, how some were stored and what better way we could do that this year, how the padding on my ironing board was bunching up on one end and I should get a new pad...blah blah blah.  I started wondering how I was bringing glory to God by ironing these flags...well, wrinkled flags could be distracting to the message...no, that's a reach.  What am I doing today to bring glory to God?

   After lunch, I started paying attention to the countries the flags represented.  As I thought about different aspects I may have known, read, or heard about...I started parying as I ironed.  For instance, I remembered reading about POLAND's horrific history of German occupation and how their people's lives changed for that time.  I thought of my foreign students from JAPAN who are grown up and away now.  I thought of VENEZUELA's bad government and BRAZIL's coffee.

   Thinking about their countires and the people in them, putting faces and feelings on them, I also prayed for missionaries to seek them out so that they will know freedom in Christ, which is a freedom that cannot be taken away by a government or corrupt drug lords.  I thought about how poor these countries are compared to us, but how rich, once they know the Lord.  Sometimes we know the Lord, but are not as free because of our wealth which can be used by Satan to distract us, even to the point of misery.

   I realize that it's my praying that can give glory to God today.  At the begining, I was looking at it as kind of a boring, nothing day...but prayer made all the difference.  And I don't need an iron to serve, although that was a bonus today.  My true service to others and God is prayer.  I'm not rich and there are many things I would like to do that I cannot.  Others can.  But I can always pray!

Dangers in New Territories

Belle was a bad girl last week.  Unprovoked, she rushed her little friend Velvet, a black miniature poodle, and bit her on the nose! (drew blood) Velvet's daddy was understandably upset and made comments about it not even being safe to walk his dog in her own neighborhood.  I apologized profusely, offering to pay any veterinary bills and vowed to abandon our neighborhood walks, taking Belle elsewhere.  In other words...This town is not big enough for the both of us and our dogs!

So, we are on to discovering new territories!  This week we have explored the grounds surrounding the Galleria Mall in Centerville and Eagle Springs.  Today, we visited an old friend's neighborhood, Magnolia Court.

Chris gave us good directions after we chatted and I left my car in front of her house.  On to adventure!  She said to go to the end of the block take a right and come down to Sweet Bay, walking by her home and following it all the way around, making it a 1.25 mile walk.  However, when I got to Sweet Bay, a left turn was more alluring; the road looked wider and shadier.  I thought I'd just go around the circle in a different direction and take the shade first.

After half a block, I hit another street, Royal Oak...Chris hadn't mentioned it but it must go around and hook up with Sweet Bay again, so off we went.  Now, in the beginning, we walk slow because we have to stop and sniff every yard.  I think after awhile this must get old because then we are on the lookout for squirrels and other critters that Belle's radar can locate, so we are walking a little more briskly.  Toward the end, she slows down, looking for water, usually provided by sprinkler sytems or ditches that may store some previous rainfall.

Royal Oak turns into River View Trail...very beautiful, but I start to get worried and take side streets that end up in cul-de-sacs.  I wonder, should I turn around?  Nah...it will hook up again! It's quite a long road and I know I am going in the wrong direction to get back but every beautiful yard has tall fences.  I tried for directions from several yard workers who did not understand english.  Eventually we reach Sandefur Road where there is road work happening.  I ask the workers where HiWay 96 is.  They said a few miles away and directed me to take a left on the next road and keep going.  Inside I am screaming..."Can you give me a ride?"

Okay, I am on Addison, a long road with no shade and no sprinklers.  Belle is getting tired and trying to lie down.  My legs feel like huge, heavy tree trunks.  After athe equivalent of 2 Fargo, North Dakota blocks, an SUV leaves a house and I flag it down.  They give me directions and I ask the time...11:11...I say, oh my gosh, I started out about 9:30 for a 1 hour walk!  Inside I am screaming, "Can you give me a ride?"  They don't offer.

At the next stop sign, I am stumped...was it a left or a right?  I ask a van lady who has stopped.  She thinks I should take a right and I am on something like Sawtooth Road.  A man on this road is watering his black garbage bags by the curb.  I ask him about my destination....he is slurring his words....I keep walking.  At the next stop sign I see SWEET BAY!  Thank You Jesus!  I take a right and wonder if I am going to be going the 1.25 miles Chris had mentioned, but it is just 3 blocks and there is our car.  The last 3 blocks are tough for Belle but she revs up when she sees the car, as do I!  I start it up and the time is 11:45.  What a good walk we had!

Around the end of River View Trail, I was pondering my predicament, wondering why I left my cell phone in my purse when I did have pockets...sheer stupidity.  Then I wondered why I didn't turn around before I hit Sandefur, which had crossed my mind quite a bit...sheer hopefulness.  I thought about my initial decision to defy the good directional advice from Chris and I realized I had taken the 'wide way' instead of the 'narrow path'.  I had taken the way that looked more pleasureable and comfortably shady, rather than the sunny, presumably more boring way.

I realized this is just like me, to pick pleasure before work and find that it was more work in the end.  There is danger in exploring new territory when one does not listen to the wise counsel of people who have been there.  Will I learn my lesson?  I'm sure my Lord is always asking this to Himself...will she ever learn her lessons?  I rest in His grace and mercy as I try to navigate my life.  Poor Belle just gets pulled along, having no say in the matter!

Meeting God in the Valleys

I find myself in another valley, and I saw it coming.  I thought ignoring it was a good idea.  I thought I was trusting God by ignoring situations that always do have consequences.  I was too busy seeking pleasure.  I am not talking about 'forbidden' pleasures, but just the little pleasures we get used to in our daily lives - that can take us over while we lose our focus on Christ.

I do get super serious about prayer when I am in a valley.  I also pray during the good times but must admit there is no comparison.  The Psalms remind me how David prayed in good times and bad with equal fervor.  Nothing less is worthy of my King!

It's great, the time I have with God in the mornings and little moments all during the day.  It's great how God brings people together to minister to one another.  He gave me a day like that today, as He met me in my valley with reinforcements this morning, this afternoon, and I am sure we will meet again this evening.

Friends, I cherish your encouragements and intercessory prayers and I know you are His instruments of peace here on earth, for me.  Thank you and thanks be to God!

The Gifts We Don't Want

     I am behind on my devotional reading, as I usually am when I've been on vacation, especially a month long one.  It's always a delight to settle back into a routine that brings peace and comfort.  
     So, in settling in with my Daily Guideposts 2010, a devotion from May 26 (Okay, I was already behind when I left on vacation!) really made me think and I felt an urge to share it that stayed with me as I performed other tasks this afternoon.  Finally, I said Okay!  I will share it now!

     " No one can receive anything except what is given him from heaven."  JOHN 3:27 (RSV)

     The writer askes this question:  Did you ever think about the many gifts you've been given that you didn't really want and would have refused if you could?   Some were glorious, crucial, and necessary.  Some were dark...leaving dark threads behind...like illness, injury, betrayal, financial worries, wild children, trying times with a spouse, problems at work.
     What if these were all sweet, quiet gifts that we just don't see from the right angle?  What if all these things made me a harder worker and gave me a gentler, humbler soul?  What if everything I thought was a pain was actually a present?

     Dear Lord, would You help me see the grace of the gift a little more?  Because here I am, sighing at prayer time again.   BRIAN DOYLE, paraphrased

     We are taught to praise Him in the good times and in the bad times.  To me, since God works everything together for our good, this means that there is also good in the bad times.  Even if I can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't there.  I can't see God and He is there.  I believe in Him and and I believe what He says.  So, when a dark gift presents itself, the first thing for me to do is pray, confess, and thank Him and ask for deliverance.  I also ask Him what I can learn from the experience.  Then, I focus on listening.  I search the scriptures.  I seek godly counsel.
     This also seems like being grateful for unanswered prayer, when I think of the many prayers I have offered up over the years.  Had they all been answered...oh, my goodness, the misery I would have lived through by now!

    

Creating Something Special

One day, in heaven, God could not be found.  The angels could see His light shining but could not seem to get His attention.  "I think He's at it again."  one of the angels whispered to another.  "Yes", he replied, "He's creating something special."  Some others overheard them and nodded, saying. "He only does this every so often...it's not like a daily miracle.  He's working on something so special."

Soon, He was there among them.  "I have a wonderful gift to bestow on the earth.  Let us look for a special family, one full of love and peace.  One who knows Me."

It did not take long, and the household was found.  It had one father, one mother, and one young son.  God could see the patience the parents had for their son and the love that flowed in and around their home.  He looked at the mother and father in their workplaces and observed the flow of love that did not stop in their own home.  He also noted that loving grandparents, of each, were close by and had willing-to-help hearts.

"I think they are perfect", God said.  "We will send my new wonder to this family.  He will be a blessing to the family and the family will be a blessing to him."  The angelic host was in one accord.  They praised God for His gift.  "This family will grow.  They will be a beacon of hope to others.  They will abound in love and blessings directly from us."

God whispered to the little gift, "You will teach them so much and you will learn so much from them.  There is nowhere else on earth where you will be loved so much and one day you will all return to live with me."  The baby smiled as God kissed him goodbye-for-now.

And that is the story of how Briggs Benjamin was given to Jeremy, Tracy, and Owen!  Praise God!


NOTE:  I wrote this before Briggs got home from the hospital and shared it with Robin, who had come in from Seattle to be with her sister and family.  We agreed I should 'sit on it' and I just found it while cleaning out some papers and thought I would share it.  It's nothing fancy, but I believe God put it on my heart, as I wrote without thinking about anything except grateful love.  I love you, Briggsy!

Dedicated To Our Children

On a treacherous drive home from Florida Wednesday (flat tire), searching for soothing music, I tuned in to Delilah. A man called in who said he had questioned for years and years why his wife, Annie, had died, even after he was remarried...wondering what good had or could come from a death. He had always believed that 'all things work together for his good', but, still he questioned.

Recently, he went to her gravesite with his daughters, 11 and 12 years old, with flowers for her. As they were leaving, his 11 year old grasped his had and said she wasn't sorry Annie was dead, because then she wouldn't be alive. She asked if that was bad. Through his tears, he said no, that wasn't bad...that was good, very, very good. You see, Annie had died the first year of their marriage. He had his answer, which was really there all along!

He dedicated this song to his two daughters, and as I listened to the words more closely than ever before, by an artist I absolutely adore, I thought...what great wishes for our children! So, here's to you, kids!

FOREVER YOUNG, Rod Stewart

May the good Lord be with you

Down every road you roam

And may sunshine and happiness

surround you when you're far from home

And may you grow to be proud

Dignified and true

And do unto others

As you'd have done to you

Be courageous and be brave

And in my heart you'll always stay

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young



May good fortune be with you

May your guiding light be strong

Build a stairway to heaven

with a prince or a vagabond



And may you never love in vain

and in my heart you will remain

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young

Forever Young



And when you finally fly away

I'll be hoping that I served you well

For all the wisdom of a lifetime

No one can ever tell



But whatever road you choose

I'm right behind you, win or lose

Forever Young, Forever Young

Forever Young ,Forever Young

Forever Young, Forever Young

For, Forever Young, Forever Young

From Rejection to Hope

At one point, in my young life, I sent a true story to magazines.  My grandmother and most faithful cheerleader urged me and helped me with a list of magazines she thought would snatch it up.  None did.  They didn't believe it was true.  It was about an LSD trip, my one and only such trip. Looking back, it was really 'out there'... though well written, we both thought.

They trickled in, one rejection letter after another.  I thought I would never write again, and then Reader's Digest accepted a short anecdote and I felt somewhat avenged.  I had been published! 

Yesterday I was pretty down in the dumps.  I was rejected by a cable company.  The job seemed to fit my resume, but I didn't fit what they were looking for, apparently. 

So, today I am on Craig's List and have applied for 8 other jobs in the area.  I also spoke with my previous manager and feel assured I could maybe find work in my old company if I am willing to move.  So, there is hope.

No one knows the future, but God knows the plans he has for me and I am trusting Him.  With God, there is always hope for a new tomorrow, for a new life, for a new home with Him!

Another death in the neighborhood....

A couple years ago we started going to the lakes for the summer.  The last two years we have had winter stays in Minnesota, as well. 

One time, we came back to a next-door neighbor who had a brain tumor.  He died a week later.  We kept watch and cared for his widow, a dear, confused lady.  The next time we came back home, she died a few days later, before we had a chance to reconnect with her.  I remember being very concerned because I hadn't seen her.  I went next door and knocked but there was no answer.  I found out later that she had been living in a retirement home the last few months and her funeral was less than a week after we got back. I heard this from another neighbor the day after her funeral.

So fast-forward to this present year.  I have renewed my morning walks with Belle and, although we stop at her "boyfriend's" house every day, he doesn't run to the fence for a kiss, as usual.  Yesterday, I stopped to talk with the kids who were delivering groceries for their aging mom...I explained who I was and asked about their dog.  I was told that his kidneys had failed and she had to 'put him down'.  We were so sad that I didn't think it was very polite to ask the dog's name.  We always referred to him as Belle's boyfriend.

She was always excited to go there and they went through the peeing ritual, as close to the fence as possible.  The aging male labrador would get on his hind legs on the corner of the fence, then she would look, pleadingly, up at me for a lift.  I would lift her up and she would turn her head away like she was tolerating his sloppy lick on the neck but not enjoying it, and then want down.  I know she enjoyed it.  I know she misses him.  Everyday we cross the road, we go to the fence and she looks for him.  Eventually, she won't.  She may even find a new boyfriend.

He was so faithful, always waiting.  She knows he is gone.  Maybe she understands english better than we know.  Maybe she has an inner instinct that tells her after a week, he is history.  Maybe she didn't care as much as I thought;  I hear that we try to give human characteristics to our pets.  However, I believe she is being brave, perhaps she cries in her pillowed bed, but I know that pets make us feel good...and I think she is being brave for me.

I love you, Belle, and he did too!  We didn't know his name, but he was a neighbor, created by God, and we miss him.