I have been amazed, these last few weeks on vacation, of the continual beauty in my life and the world I live. It never ceases. I can find beauty everywhere, easily. It is seen, felt, tasted, heard, smelled. It is life itself and it is all a bounteous gift from God.
As we drive along the highways and gravel roads: trees, sky, clouds, storms, billboards, animals, vehicles, houses, yards, gardens, fields, shopping centers, gas stations, restaurants, ditches, bushes, flowers, fences...they stretch like ribbons or they pop up here and there; they cause me to laugh or cause me concern; they entertain me and intrigue me; they give me ideas I somehow can't put to paper; they work my imagination. They are beautiful.
As we attend weddings: laughing brides with smiling husbands, photo opportunities, children dashing about, celebration foods and drinks, smiling hellos to friends and relatives we have missed then tearful goodbyes, gowns and party dresses, ties and vests, cakes, flowers, hugs and kisses, receiving lines and guest books, brightly ribboned gifts and thoughtful cards, music and musicians, wrinkled faces and fresh baby skin, oooh's and ahhhh's...they are life-giving, enriching, dramatic, and so beautiful.
As we relax on the lake: endless blue sky reflected on water, rice and weed beds, the chug of the motor, the ripples the pontoon makes on the water, the sun so life-giving and bright, the slight whip and whirr of my line as I cast, the leech and minnows that dance (for a time) on my hook, the thrill of reeling in a northern, a sunfish, a bass, a baby walleye (all good little fighters), my dog's excitement as she tries to kiss and bite my catch, Belle's bark as she impatiently waits for me to get my line back in the water...it's a beautiful respite, a time to be alone with God and His creation even while I am with my husband and dog.
As we relax at the lake: the RV sitting in it's same spot for the last 6 years or so, the deck with it's "Beware of Dog" sign that doesn't really matter, the flowered flag waving (a different one this year), the decked out deck with furniture and shade umbrella, then the first step inside...and we are home, the recliner that fits my body perfectly, the perfect sized table, cooking on that little stove, trying to get groceries into that little fridge, washing dishes in my "playhouse" sink, the fun corner shower I bump my elbows on at times, the familiar towels, the resort bathhouse, the resort lodge...it is all calming to the soul and beautiful to me.
Again, I can use all my 5 senses for this beauty in God's world, for these beautiful experiences He affords me.
My family and friends are beautiful. I find something beautiful about each of them with my eyes and my ears. Some beauty I find deep within them by trial and error, by knowing them, by intuition. Some share their beautiful thoughts, ideas, life. Some invite me in. For some, my life is intertwined with theirs in different, wondrous ways.
But, at the end of these two weeks, I, myself, feel very unbeautiful. I feel I have been drinking from a deep well and taking it all in but giving nothing of beauty back to the world, back to God. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I were beautiful on the outside, and wish I were...however, I have come to terms with how God made me and I know I do have beauty within, or had it. I feel like I need to find part of myself again, so I have more to give. Whatever happens or doesn't to the outside of me...I am going to get back to work on the inside of me, with God's help...so I can truly be a beautiful gift to Him and to the world.
