Missing Mom

Mom came home with me when I left Fargo.  Perhaps I should say home with us, as my sister Gayle was along.  Gayle stayed a few days then went home.  Mom and I went about our days.  We shopped, we toured places, we lunched, we played cards, we watched tv and read.  We did normal things.  I had more planned.  I wanted to take her to Stone Mountain.  I wanted her to see Callaway Gardens, especially the chapel on the lake.  I wanted to sit on the porch and talk more.

While Gayle was here, I got out the calendar and started talking about which days she wanted to go to Gayles.  She didn't want to and I figured it was because she needed to settle in a bit more.  Gayle seemed to understand and did not make a big deal of it.  If she comes, she comes.  What a great attitude, but I thought I could feel her disappointment.  So, several days after Gayle left, I broached the subject again.  We called Gayle and she mentioned 'her' Rick's birthday was that weekend and that spurred mom on..."birthday cake" she exclaimed!

We hit the road Thursday after work, having lunch on the road which was messier than I had anticipated.  I realized that I never really think in advance that Moms dominant right hand is unusable.  (Since her stroke). We had a good supper there and I left about noon the next day, thinking I would see Mom within a week, if not sooner.

Gayle really thought of everything.  She had gotten her a jigsaw puzzle to work, and planned to get more.  There were movies to watch and a trip to the mountains on the weekend for Ricks birthday.  I am constantly in awe of this little sister who seems to have it all together.  And, as I drove away, I had  a thought that this may be the perfect place for Mom.  Gayle didn't have a part-time job to contend with, a book club to attend, and other trappings I enjoy.

So  I get word that they are coming back in Sunday.  I had really hoped it would be sooner.  Then later....that it may be next Monday or Tuesday depending on some work her truck needed.  I offered to come and my help was refused.  Gayle wanted to drive her back.  Now I have feelings to sort out and I need to get out of myself and look at this from Moms point of view.

I miss having her here.  I feel I didn't get much time with her alone.  But I have to focus on the reason I asked her to come.  I wanted her to experience the wonderfullness of the south, whether it's my Georgia or Gayles South Carolina.  I wanted her to see this as an option for the cold winters in Fargo.  (Of course, if Mom were to be here with me longer than a week, I would quit my two mornings a week job.)

Truth be told, I have missed Mom for much longer than this week.  I have missed her since I moved out east in 2001.  And I have missed her even more since her stroke since she suffers with aphasia and it is really hard to have a phone conversation with someone who sometimes can only get out one sentence or two and its sometimes a repeat of what you have just said.

When I lived in Fargo, I would see her for lunch a couple days a week, spend Saturday afternoons at her condo, go shopping with her and talk on the phone every other day.  I miss Mom.  And I have to think she also misses me and those days.  Even after I moved, we would spend hours in the phone a couple days a week.  Wow...we all need to savor the time we have with loved ones while we and they are able.